One thing is on the mind of your average young Bostonian, and one thing alone…It’s that time of year again– spring. The weather is growing nicer. The clothes are becoming skimpier. One thing is on the mind of your average young Bostonian, and one thing alone: sex.
Oh, you’ll say you’re thinking about finals or graduation. You’ll say you’re preoccupied with getting a cute new pair of Tom’s shoes. You’ll say you’re worried about getting a new apartment for fall, but these are all lies—you’re just worried about getting laid.
Even those of us in committed relationships cannot completely elude spring’s charms. The warm weather beckons to us to leave the once cozy confines of our apartments and go out into the world with our partners to fill our sunshine-filled months with experiences that are better lived away from home.
But, unless you’ve been saving up all winter, chances are your cash flow is not increasing with the daylight hours. But that’s ok, because this week’s column is going to examine inexpensive date ideas in Boston.
Want to look all cultured and shit? Here’s a secret—If you put a glass of wine in your hand, you will instantly look 1% more intelligent and classy.If you put a glass of wine in your hand, you will instantly look 1% more intelligent and classy. Also, lots of people happen to really dig wine. Many local liquor stores host weekly wine tastings—try Brookline Liquor Mart’s from 1 – 5 on Saturdays (often complete with music and art) or the Boston Winery in Dorchester (Boston’s only functioning winery) who offers a tasting of three different wines plus a tour of the winery for $10.00 per person.
If you’re more a beer kinda guy or gal, I have a few tips for you, too. One of Boston’s local breweries, Samuel Adams, offers free tours, and Boston’s other brewery, Harpoon, charges only $5 per tour. Both offer generous samples at the end of the tour.
Visit a food truck
Not only will you look hip, but if you choose your location well, you can also get a nice, romantic backdrop to your date. This handy schedule put out by the City of Boston can help you find the right location, right truck and right time of day (my apologies to those across the river—just google your town and food truck). You might try breakfast on a Thursday morning before work in Copley Square, courtesy of Benny’s Crepe Café, or a dinner of gourmet grilled cheese from Roxy’s in the park at Cleveland Circle on a Wednesday night. There’s a food truck out there catering to every taste, and they travel everywhere from Dorchester to Somerville, so do your homework and find the right food truck. Your date will be impressed that you were so in the know!
Go stroke a pussy
The MSPCA in Jamaica Plain allows you to visit with their available cats, dogs and exotic animals from 11 – 4 on Saturdays and Sundays. Just come on in, ask to see the dogs, cats, chinchillas or whatever kind of animal floats your boat and spend some time with your date bonding with animals. Offer to take a dog for a walk, cuddle with kitties, ham it up with guinea pigs. Just make sure your date isn’t allergic first… Otherwise, the only pussy you’ll be getting with have claws and teeth. It’s free to visit the animals, but if you score, I suggest you make a donation to the MSPCA—they do great work beyond getting people laid.
Bring the dead back to life
While you’re in JP visiting doggies and kitties, consider checking out the coolest cemetery in the world, Forest Hills. Unlike most cemeteries, Forest Hills is not a depressing collection of graves—it’s a park that happens to have people buried in it. It is filled with places to sit and relax (like giant lawn chairs carved out of tree stumps overlooking a majestic lake) and quirky artwork, including a giant, fully functioning xylophone disguised as a bench and other beautiful sights. Of course, being a Victorian-era burying ground in Boston, it is the final resting place of multiple famous people, including suffragist Lucy Stone and poets e.e. cummings and Anne Sexton—try to find your favorite resident’s grave! All totally free.
Speaking of poets…
There’s something about poetry that gets under a person’s skin. The sound of wordplay, the artistic temperament, the je ne sais quoi of hanging out in dingy bars and coffee shops. It’s enough to go to a poetic soul’s head. As it happens, there’s a weekly poetry slam and open mic night at the Cantab lounge in Central Square at 8 PM on Wednesday nights (doors open at 7:15—it is recommended that you show up early, especially if you hope to participate in either). Cover charge is $3 ($5 for special events). Also, check out the Lizard Lounge Poetry Jam on Sunday nights at 7:30.
Take a ride
There’s something romantic about going for a long bike ride, especially if you pack a picnic, bring a picnic blanket and find a nice romantic spot to do it in. But what if you don’t have a bicycle at your disposal? Fear not! Hubway, a local bike sharing program, has your back. Pay $5 and get an all-day long pass—go wherever you like (might I suggest a ride along the Esplanade?), then drop the bike off at any convenient Hubway location.