I watched you for two hours today. OK, that sounds creepy, but that goblin that looks like Gollum licking your leg was pretty creepy too, and you ended up liking him in the end. Yes, I could also see the goblins. Personally the pervert Gollum guy was a bit too creepy for me, even though his little mushroom spirit friends are adorable. I liked your other goblin guardians a bit more, though they could get a bit annoying. The big guy was probably the most likable, his numerous screw-ups seemed like honest mistakes and as such he was funnier than his partner, the skinny guy who was self-centered and made a lot of fart jokes. The skinny one did sound like Master Shake, though, which made him slightly more amusing to me. Wait, do Japanese 11-year-old girls watch Aqua Teen Hungerforce? Forget I made that reference.
I liked watching you more than I liked watching the goblins. I cared about your story, about your guilt surrounding your father, your frustration with your mother, your awkwardness with friends, the way you felt like you were going crazy with the supernatural. When the two hours got repetitive at times, I was more sympathetic to your emotional swings and lulls than to the samey goblins stealing food stuff. I didn’t cry at the end but I did, as they say on tumblr, “get the feels.” A very convincing portrayal of teenage angst (though according to Wikipedia you’re only 11, which makes Gollum all the creepier).
Wait, did I say portrayal? OK, this is a big bombshell: you are an animated character in a movie, A Letter to Momo, I saw at the Kendall Square Cinema in Cambridge, Massachusetts. You’re very well-animated! Your jaw even moves when you speak! Hardly any Japanese animation, even the really good stuff, bothers with that! Maybe this confuses you, drives you even crazier than the goblins. Or maybe it clarifies things, such as why parts of your life bear a striking similarity to My Neighbor Totoro (Have you seen Totoro? If that movie doesn’t exist in your universe, that’s just further evidence you are in fact a fictional character in the universe I’m writing from).
I’d say my two hours watching your movie were well spent, though it could have been shorter. Liked the story, liked how the animation brought you to life, wish I found your goblin friends funnier. Maybe it’s a Japanese cultural thing that just hasn’t translated as well (I also watched you and your friends dubbed in English, which is why the farting goblin sounds like an American milkshake). But regardless, I hope you and your family are doing well, despite the bombshell of your fictionality.
Sincerely, Your Dead Dad- OK, sorry, that was mean of me. Sincerely, Reuben Baron
P.S. You really shouldn’t do that Return of the King ending thing where you fade out on a scene that feels like the ending only to continue with more scenes.
P.P.S. Also don’t have limited animation over all the credits if you don’t want the viewers disappointed by the lack of an actual post-credits scene.